Different And Still Equal

Right now there is a lot of...contention...revolving around women who believe they should be ordained to the priesthood the same way men are. I have to admit it bugs me. I'd like to say it doesn't, but it does. Based on current revelation there is absolutely no indication that women are to have the priesthood outside of temple covenants (I'm not going into that here--there are plenty of other places you can read/discuss that). There are some statements by church leaders about women not having the priesthood. These leaders have been clear that women not having the priesthood isn't because women are less valued than men. It's definitely not because women aren't good enough, strong enough, etc. There are women who would honor and use the priesthood better and wiser than many men. Some in the church today are asking, if all this is true, then why don't women get the priesthood too?

Maybe it's just because we're different.

One of the things I look forward to life most is having the opportunity to be pregnant. I get it it, the whole puking, cramping, etc. bit sucks. No, I'm not looking forward to that. But the awe of having a baby grow inside of me, of feeling it move for the first time, of having it kick me (and then complaining because it kicks too hard and/or in the wrong places), and finally the day I give birth to the baby and hold it in my arms. I know I will look at it and feel a sense of wonder. My body just grew a baby. I had been given the opportunity of bringing a precious son or daughter of God into the world.

I'm practical. I understand there is a chance this will never happen for me. Things happen. I have a mortal body that I can't control. Yet I dream of carrying my own baby with everything inside of me. (Literally as well as figuratively. What do you think periods are?) While there are some who do not have this experience, the large majority of women do get to have this opportunity. It is something unique and special only women get to experience.

Why is that a big deal? It's just the way it works, right? The simple answer is men don't get that opportunity.

In society we, especially women, joke that men couldn't handle childbirth. To back us up there are those funny videos where men get to experience "contractions" and they freak out, but those videos are not fair. The bodies of women giving birth have had an entire pregnancy to prep for that moment--including "minor" contractions for the last trimester or so (note the use of " "). During the actual birth our bodies release hormones to help. Men experiencing intense contractions made by an electrical stimulus don't have any of those things to help them. Frankly, our body is made to have a baby and theirs is not. It doesn't matter how much pain men can tolerate. It doesn't matter what they want. They cannot have a baby even though many of them would have more patience and complain less than many women during pregnancy. It's just not the way it works.

A little boy I love very much (who is no longer such a little boy) once went to his mom frustrated. "Why don't I get to have a baby?" He didn't mean being a dad. He meant being pregnant and having the baby. You can say he said it in the naivety of youth and you're right. He was little and naive, but who is to say some men don't wish they could experience the awe of childbirth themselves?

You may be asking how this relates to the theme of this post. It has to do with his mom's response. She said:  "Only women get to have babies but when you grow up you get to have the priesthood." The boy perked up. There was something special he could do too.

The honest truth is the priesthood is the only thing men have that women don't have too. That's what bugs a lot of women. Some see it as women being less than men. Some see it as a division that separates the genders. Some see it as simply not fair.  I'm sure there are lots of reasons why people disagree with the way things are, with the idea that only men have the priesthood. I see it differently. I see it the way this mom did. Just as women have things that are unique to them, men have something unique of their own. Even if I can't have a baby it is still something special that only women can experience. There are men who don't get the priesthood but it is still something special that only men can have. Men deserve to have something of their own as much as women do.

I'm not saying God can't or won't give women the priesthood. If the prophet were to announce in general conference on Saturday that women were to be ordained to the priesthood I wouldn't freak out. I just don't see it happening. Based on my understanding of the revelation of modern day prophets it seems just as God designed men and women to function differently physically, He gaves us different roles for life. Regardless of these different roles, men and women are equal.

If you're struggling with the idea that different can mean equal here's an empirical example: You can make the number 10 six different ways using only the numbers 1-9 (no decimals/fractions).  10 is 10 regardless if you use 5 x 2 or 7 + 3. The process of solving the problem is different. The numbers are different. But they both equal 10. Different does not mean they're not equal.

 My husband has the priesthood. I don't. Try telling either of us that we're not as important as the other and we'll both laugh.

We're different, but Chris and I are equal.