What do 6 year olds and service have to do with each other? Today my fil was sick and wouldn't be able to teach his primary class (Primary is my church's program for kids under 12. There's a lesson portion and a lot of singing). Chris was going to do it for his dad but there has been a missing suit pants problem here for the last 2 weeks and he was going to wear his jeans but they were wet. So I volunteered myself.
My fil teaches the 6 year old class. We sat on the back row during the time they had all the younger kids together. I was constantly telling kids to be reverent or to sing or to hurry and color faster because we were all using the same 4 crayons... Yeah, bad plan. Anyway, there was a lot of complimenting too. "Thank you so much for being reverent! You're doing a great job". "Wow, that picture looks great!" "I love how you gave that person glasses!" Etc. All sincere, but that's how I normally talk with kids so I didn't even realize it counted as compliments until about 10 minutes ago. Compliments are great. They make kids feel good about themselves and giving them probably helped the kids think I'm great. No down side there.
After the part with all the younger kids, we went into a class room just for us and had a lesson. That came with it's own set of struggles including, but not limited to, kids hiding under the table or behind chairs. Kids refusing to sit on chairs. Kids not sharing or taking turns etc. Nonetheless, I went home tired. It was a labor of love for sure.
Subbing for my fil's class may count as a random act of kindness, but the part I think was most powerful was letting a little boy stay after class so he could finish his picture. All the other kids had rushed off to their families. He just wanted to finish drawing Jesus. So I sat there and told him it was ok, I'd wait for him to finish.
At the time I didn't think much of it. But thinking about it this evening I realized how much good that little act could do. As a kid I was always the last one out of class. I wasn't in a hurry to leave school--I liked it. And I was disorganized and hyper so it took me a while to get my stuff together, even when I was trying to hurry. I remember having my 3rd grade teacher get frustrated with me and grumpily telling me to hurry up. It made me feel so bad. And every time I was slow I would feel bad, like I just wasn't good enough. The teacher wasn't going anywhere--she could easily have waited a few minutes for me. And If she'd been kind about it, I wouldn't have had that feeling of shame and think she was super glad to get rid of me for the day. No 3rd grader should feel that way.
Instead of pushing the kid out the door I gave him a moment of my time. It really wasn't more than a couple minutes. What he learned, whether he realizes it or not, is he's worth someone's time, that he is more important than me going home.
What a difference we would make in the lives of children if we all did that! Instead of there being 3rd graders who think someone doesn't want them around, there would be kids who know they are important and loved.
While sitting with a kid for a couple of minutes and complimenting kids on the little things they do seems so trivial, it's probably one of the biggest things I could do. Kids remember things. Proof is my 3rd grade teacher story. But I also remember the people who made me feel important and special. Those influences have made a bigger difference in my life than the negative ones.
Nowadays I don't worry about about going slow as I leave class. It's my schedule and my life. What my teacher tried to push on me has had no lasting impact. On the other hand the kind, loving people who treated me like I was important, without ever demanding anything of me, have shaped me into the woman I am today, a woman who is willing to give a couple minutes if her time so a 6 year old can draw Jesus. A woman who notices that a kid drew glasses on his person. A woman who in turn is giving to other children exactly what those kind influences gave to her.
Today I feel humbled to realize this entire February challenge isn't of my making, but the creation of kind men and women who took a loud, precocious, hyper kid and treated her like she was something special.
To all of you who have helped my life in this way, thank you. Thank you so very much.
*note: these kids are not the kids I taught, nor am I that teacher. This picture simply represents to me the kind, thoughtful influence I hope to have in the lives of children. This picture is from lds.org*
My daughter had a great time in your class!
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