My love for flowers started as a little kid. In the spring and early summer my mom would be outside weeding and taking care of the flower beds. I have many memories of helping her or watching her, running around in the warm evening air. These are some of my best childhood memories.
My mom's mom, my grandma, died when I was really little and my only solid connection with her was flowers. Mom would have us kids pick a bunch of flowers from the yard, we'd arrange them and put them on Grandma's grave every Mother's Day and Memorial Day. It was from these trips and conversations with my mom out working in the flower beds I learned my grandma's favorite flowers were irises.
Every year on my birthday, from the time I was 12 until my 16th birthday I received a rose on my birthday. On my 16th birthday it was a bouquet. I still have no idea who sent them. My guess is--maybe--one of my sisters. Those flowers made me feel incredibly special. Someone thought about me and remembered my birthday every year. As a teenager that helped a lot.
When I was in 9th grade one of my friends bought me an orange daisy. It was one of the most thoughtful presents anyone has given me. He remembered a conversation from months before where I said I'd rather have a daisy than a rose, and then he got one in my favorite color. It bolstered my belief that I was special, I was worth time and energy. My friend (we're still friends) will never understand how that one flower impacted my life. Just like then, I still prefer daisies and had orange, yellow, red, and white ones at my wedding.
When my mom was dying I realized I didn't know her favorite flower. No one I talked to did either. So one day, as i was helping her I asked her. In pain she responded "Pink roses. The kind that smell good". I went and bought her one a few days later. She had it on the nightstand next to her until it withered.
All of these have added to my love of flowers. Flowers make me happy. My top love language is gifts, so being given flowers is one of the ways I feel most loved.
Chris doesn't get the flower thing. He never has. We've been married for almost 3 years, dating for 4, and I can count the times he's given me flowers on one hand. I've tried to hint. I've openly told him. I've reiterated how much I want them. I even told him once that's all I wanted for my birthday. He just doesn't get it meaning i don't get them. It doesn't make me angry, but it's a little frustrating and I always am a bit disappointed when a big event rolls around and I didn't get flowers.
This year, because of this challenge, and because of the things that inspired this challenge, I'm looking at life differently. Since I didn't get any flowers Tuesday I knew I wouldn't be getting this Valentine's (Remember Tuesday is mine and Chris's day). I had 2 choices: feel bad that Chris didn't get me any or find a way to turn the situation into something positive.
At school they were selling Valentine's day stuff. I bought a rose and a small box of chocolate, came home and gave them to Chris. He didn't know what to do at first. I think he thought I was teasing him about not buying me any. But I just left him with it and started to unpack from the day. Chris said he didn't know what to do with it. I told him to put it in a vase and then proceeded to tell him how to cut the stem, etc. The rose is now sitting on our dresser.
I didn't do it as a hint. I did it because flowers make me happy and I love Chris and gifts are one of the ways I tell people I love them. Combine the 2 and I gave Chris a rose to tell him I love him and to make him happy. It wasn't about me at all.
The best part is I don't feel sad about not getting flowers. Giving them is just as good, if not better.
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